The Baby speaks!

Well, he’s finally done it. He’s uttered a word that I feel comfortable enough to write down as his first in the baby book.

For a month or so The Baby has been saying “uh, oh,” here and there. But he never really applied it to anything and we weren’t quite sure if he was really even trying to say it, or if it was just a coincidence that some of the monosyllables in his repertoire came together in such a way as to make sense.

He also will say “mamamamama” or “dadadadada” but it doesn’t seem to mean anything to him, nor does he mimic the sound if you say it first. As far as we can tell, he doesn’t associate those sounds with us at all. If you ask The Baby where his sock is, he knows. He knows his shoes, he can find his spoon or even point to my nose. Heck, if you tell him to put his sock on the table, he’ll do it! But if you say, “Show me Dada. Where is Dada?” he just looks blankly at you. If I ask him to “Show me Mama’s nose,” he’ll cheerfully point to my nose. But ask him “Where’s Mama?” and you’ll be greeted by the sound of silence, or, better yet, he will divert the entire question by pointing at something else and making a noise. Oh, he’s smart.

He obviously has a vocabulary. For about two weeks he’s regularly been saying “ats,” sometimes he’s quite vehement. It means something to him, we just don’t know what. During the Easter service, he repeated the word several times causing much anxiety between me and my husband. To the untrained ear “ats” sounds a lot like “ass” and I’m sure the people in a four-pew radius think we are unfit parents.

Anyway, so Saturday I was playing with The Baby and I tickled him and said “tickle, tickle, tickle,” which, by the way, I never do. Wouldn’t you know it, the little bugger said, “dickle, dickle, dickle!” I thought, no way. Certainly he’ll say “Mama,” or at least “Cat” before he bursts into three-word phrases (I know it's the same word repeated three times, but please don't take this away from me). So I repeated it and sure enough, so did he! I’m not sure that he knows what it means, but he repeats it on cue, so we’re going with it!

In the realm of possibilities, he went with the fun, awwwwwwww-inspiring phrase. There are phrases he hears a lot more often, “Eww, stinky baby” or “Get away from the cord,” for example. While I guess I’m bummed that “Dada” or “Mama” means nothing to our little cherub, I’m secretly relieved to be able to write “tickle” as his first word. I was starting to think it was going to be “ass.”

Haiku Friday: Spring Things

March Madness
I hate basketball.
Squeaky sneakers, dumb brackets.
Will March never end?

Pretty Purple
Crocuses peek out
from the cold Earth and shiver
in the pale sunshine.

Winter Coat
Goodbye, oppressor.
I don't care if I get cold,
I'll wear you no more.

Caught in the act

Here is The Baby attempting to shove the remote control into the speaker:

Other things I've dug out of or caught him putting into the speaker include Legos, a spoon, several balls and my husband's keys. Had I not caught The Baby putting those keys into the speaker, who knows when we would have found them? I mean, that is the last place you'd look.

On a somewhat related note, we (by we I mean my husband) took out our surround-sound speakers. The wires ran the length of the room on either side and up the back wall to where the speakers were perched. The Baby couldn't keep his hands off those wires. Generally, he listens well when you tell him not to pull cords or touch lamps, etc. But the wires were just too much for him. Previously they were tucked neatly and inconspicuously by the quarter-round trim. In the last three months they've been ripped out of their hiding place and, what with the toys all over the place, our living room was starting to look like the before shot in "Clean Sweep."

Meh... we never used the surround sound anyway.

A very unsexy vent

On behalf of Larry King and Sarah Jessica Parker, could we just stop already? Do we really NEED to be giving people the title of the least sexy?

As adults, what would we do or say if our daughter or son came home upset because he or she had been voted the most unsexy person by their classmates in some lame poll? We’d be pissed. We’d throw around words like “immature” and phrases like “beauty is on the inside.” Then, apparently, some of us would log on to Maxim’s Web site or AOL Television and cast our own votes on the matter. AOL’s poll had 1.35 million voters. Granted, voters answered a lot of other questions and may have been blindsided by the least sexy question. Maxim should just be ashamed of itself. If you want to put someone on a pedestal for beauty and sexuality and hopefully talent, fine. If you want to pick on a celeb’s clothes or hair, fine, but do we have to put our heads together and single out the person that we feel is the least appealing? And broadcast it? Just because a person has a lot of money and fame doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have their feelings respected. If I was their mother, I’d be pissed. :-0

Here is some other randomness on my shit-list: Joe Francis: Ok, you were an opportunist and you made your gazillion dollars, could you move on from trying to get 16-21 year olds drunk so they do lewd things on tape that they will forever regret? A frat guy with a camera and a boner is one thing, but what your company continues to do is wrong on so many levels. The Mattress Industry: I just bought the only Vera Wang I will probably ever own (except maybe Simply Vera – thank you Kohl’s), a mattress. But shopping was tough. The stupid mattress industry names their mattresses different names at different stores in each market to make comparison shopping next to impossible. Could you imagine shopping for a car if the auto industry did the same? My achy back: I got a new mattress, what more do you want? My itchy skin: I’ve been having periods of uncontrollable insane itching with no rash – wtf?? My doctors: Call me back. I’m itching over here and need an appointment – STAT! Google reader: I’m new and I love using reader, but load already. Hillary Clinton: You “misspoke.” How do mess up a memory like that? You let me down.

SJP: Sexy in a million ways, none of which are plastic (that we know of!)

Retail Therapy and Biking

I’ve been a career gal for a long time. In fact, this month I’m wondering where the time went celebrating 10 years at my company. That’s a friggin’ decade!

In all those years, I have never gone shopping during lunch. Can you believe it? Oh, I’ve run errands for stuff like Draino or diapers, but I never went shopping for clothes, until today. I was bored. It was nice. My boss was off. My friend Julie turned me down for lunch (so, Julie, I partially blame you). Springtime always makes me feel like overhauling my wardrobe.

This is how it went down. First I went to New York & Company and bought some light-weight casual black pants, jeans and a sweater. If you are a member of AAA, did you know that you get a discount at NY&C? Yep, 15% off regularly-priced merchandise. Then I went next door to Starbucks and got a grande mocha frappacino. On the way back to the office I stopped at Burger King for a burger and fries. Right now I have a nice caffeine buzz and a really cool new sweater.

I *love* shopping lunches. I can't believe I waited this long.

Biking
Springtime also makes me want to go outdoors and I’m not the outdoorsy type (unless sidewalk dining with cocktails and lots of people watching counts). I was bursting with baby last spring (plus, it stayed cold for well into April) and then had an infant, so I didn’t ride my bike once last season. We are lucky to live about two blocks from the start of a riverside bike path. My parents in-law bought us this for Christmas:
















I’m excited. The Baby is really going to enjoy riding with us. (Hopefully I didn’t just jinx anything.) One thing has me concerned. I’m not a secure bike rider. I stick to the path and am constantly paranoid that I’m going to hit something or someone and go crashing into the river. I’m not a good candidate to haul The Baby. On the hand, there is something about wheels that reverts my husband to a thrill-seeking 8-year-old. He hops curbs, pops wheelies and does the whole riding with no hands thing. Clearly he’s more comfortable on his bike, but what if he is seduced momentarily by the sight of jump-worthy curb and forgets about The Baby? What if we don’t attach the trailer correctly? What if someone makes fun of our little boy for wearing his cousin’s perfectly good, probably-never-worn Barbie helmet? What if I keep making up stupid scenarios?

Haiku Friday: One year ago...

Went into labor
on Easter evening last year.
It was my due date.

Contractions started
9 p.m. No sleep for me,
too busy timing.

Five minutes apart,
but it's not really painful.
Is it false labor?

Three minutes apart.
8 a.m., call off work and
go to hospital.

Four centimeters.
We are having a baby.
I'm so excited!

Ten hours later,
from my body to my arms,
our baby is born.

Happy Easter!

Thursday 13: Things in my medicine cabinet

People always want to know what's in other people's medicine cabinets. Well, it's your lucky day, here is a look into mine. Admittedly, it's not real exciting. I wish I had some eyebrow raising prescriptions or something that would make you gasp. Sorry!

I have pretty bad skin. I've had moderate adult acne for the past 10 years, so I'm very specific about my skin-care regimen. Here are some products that I always have on hand that help my skin, or otherwise make me feel oh, so pretty.

1. Rare Minerals Blemish Therapy. This is my newest purchase. It's a new acne treatment by Bare Minerals. It's a loose mineral powder that you dust on at night and in the morning. I've been using it for about two weeks and have had one pimple in that time. I usually have at least one new pimple per day. I'm stoked, but my face has a tendency to build up a tolerance to effective products and medications.

2. Clean and Clear face wash with salicylic acid. It's gentle and it's cheap. If there is a store brand available, I buy that. It works just as well.

3. Clinique Dramatically Different Gel. This is the classic yellow gel in the square bottle. Be aware, the gel is great for oily complexions, but the lotion is not. They are packaged alike. The gel feels light on my skin and it absorbs well.

4. Clinique Repair Wear Eye Cream. This stuff feels so good going on. Also, a little of it goes a long way.

5. Equate Collagen Treatment. The Wal-Mart equivalent of Loreal's Wrinkle Decrease works well. It doesn't make lines disappear, but it does soften them. Good enough for me!

6. Yonka Hydratant 60 Gel Mask. If you want to splurge on a spa-quality treatment, this is the one. It leaves your face so soft and supple.

7. Tweezers. Every now and then I have my brows done professionally. I usually save the money and do it myself. My method is simple. Take a white eyeliner and pencil in the areas you want to tweeze. This makes it easy to see the shape of your brows before you start yanking them out. Tweeze the hairs within the pencil marks, wash and you have perfectly shaped brows.

8. White eyeliner. see above. You can also dab near your tear ducts to give a youthful appearance to your eyes. I've read this, though I personally don't notice much of a difference when I do it.

9. Advil PM. That is what's in there now because I had a coupon. I'm not brand specific. These days I need help turning off the chatter in my head at night. This does the trick.

10. VO5 Heat defense. Spray on before blow drying your hair to counteract the damage from the heat of the dryer and an iron. It works as good as more expensive brands that I've tried.

11. Target Breastfeeding Cream. I never packed this away. It's great on really dry patches of skin on your feet and elbows. If you are breastfeeding it keeps your nips in great shape!

12. Mary Kay Satin Lips. You know how your lips get all chapped and you can't wear lipstick because it won't go on smoothly? Well, this totally eliminates the problem.

13. Clinique Happy. It smells happy. I love it.