Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Mad moms against stuff

A few weeks ago I was on cafemom and noticed a forum called "Breast Feeding Moms Against Formula (except for medical reasons)". I understand drunk drivers, Internet predators –– heck, even Barney –– but formula??

Curiosity piqued, I went in to find a disclaimer that said something about how the forum wasn't intended to be against moms who use formula. I've learned that if people disclaim what they say ("no offense, but..." "I don't mean to be mean, but..."), they usually mean exactly what they are about to say they don't mean. Sure enough, a few sentences later it says, "It's the choice to not give your baby the best that we have a problem with!" So, I guess it really is against other moms, no?

If the group's only focus, as it claims, is to shed the breast feeding "Nazi" image, encourage people to breast feed from birth, and to support the rights of those who breast feed, why bring formula into it at all? Why not name yourself Moms for Exclusive Breast Feeding or Breast is Best or something positive?? Why the hate?

Almost everyone gives their children vitamins to supplement their diet... will people so opposed to artificial nutrients not do so because it's not natural and the body doesn't absorb it as well as nutrients in food? Or is that different? There are no groups called Moms against Flintstones Chewables (that I am aware of). Organic diet and lifestyle is a choice that has a positive effect on a child's health. Would it be a problem if someone in this group didn't take the time and expense to provide a green household? It is, after all, the best choice. Or would that also be different?

Breast feeding, bottle feeding, formula, cloth vs. disposable, sleep training, when to start solids, When to forward face the car seat, when to drop the bottle, how to discipline, SAHM, WOHM, daycare, home school... there are a ton of choice we have to make with our little ones. Sometimes a choice is made that may not be the best but it works well and best for the person making the decision (can anyone really argue that an organic diet isn't best? Probably not, but most of don't follow one - myself included). But again, why the hatefulness? Why can't we just positively believe in our choices?

*tripping off of soap box to put daisies in the cleavage of mad mothers*

11 comments:

Marketing Mommy said...

I hear you. Fortunately I haven't come across too many sanctimommies, but my bff in Portland tells me women there spend a lot of time defending their choices by putting down everyone else's. And the anonymity on the internet makes it that much easier to talk smack.

Now if I could only GET my daughter to choke down a bottle of formula!

sky girl said...

It's groups like that that drive me nuts. Judge much?

miasmommy21407 said...

Hi,

I am the group owner of Breastfeeding Moms Against Formula (other than for medical reasons). I just wanted to state that the reason our group isn't called "Breast is Best" or Exclusive Breastfeeding Moms" is because that is NOT what our group is about. While both of those would accurately represent most of the women in my group, our group is AGAINST FORMULA. Formula is bad for babies. There are plenty of articles posted in my group and plenty more I can share with you that clearly showing the negetive effects of formula. BREAST IS BEST! That's a fact. Our group is for women who are making informed decisions and doing what is BEST for their child(ren) instead of doing what is most convient for the mother.

Anonymous said...

A good reason to be against formula is the unethical marketing that the formula companies use, especially in third world countries. Why not check out Babymilk Action: http://www.babymilkaction.org/ for more info?

Kate said...

I'm trying to get this right: you're a mad mom, against mad moms who are against "stuff"?

I agree that hatred isn't the way to get a point across or to allow people to be open to your opinions, however, being against something is not the same as hate. Throwing a word so strong around like it is nothing completely takes away from the true power and meaning of the word.

The nazi's were hateful. Breast-feeding mothers who support and encourage the act of giving the best for every child and discourage using dangerous and artificial milk products are not hateful. Actually, I personally come from a place of love. If I didn't care about other children, then I wouldn't care how they were fed. But, if I saw a woman improperly restraining her child in it's seat, I'd share with her. Unfortunately, she'd probably tell me to "F*ck off". It's the same when you try to inform someone of other better, safer choices in other aspects of their life.

So who are really the hateful ones?

Anonymous said...

It's silly to think that you are mad about moms choosing what they think is best.. when you just said that you wanted to see moms just supporting each others choices.... aren't you just continuing the "hate"?

wearingyourbaby said...

There are many reasons that mothers are against formula . It's not about being hateful to others, or even about being against moms...it's about formula .
Kellymom (one of your recommended links) explains just a few of the many dangers of formula. (Formula Dangers )

With informed decisions, we hope that more moms will choose to breastfeed.
At the same time, heatlhy breastfed babies don't need supplimental vitamins, so the argument of using them doesn't hold.
Anyway, it isn't about judging mothers or babies...it's about judging the formula companies and their way of interfering with breastfeeding success.

makinglemonade said...

Can you cry anymore? Let me guess you're one of the formula happy cry babies that get pissed at everyone that doesn't stick a feather in your hat and tell you what a great mother you are for feeding your child a *product* that has killed, starved, and filled the lungs of babies via proped bottles and stupid parents, has been recalled countless times for being toxic, and does nothing more then fill a child full of chemicals just enough to HOPEFULLY keep them alive although for a shorter period then an adult that was breast fed, making them fat instead of healthy, which is exactly why there are so many obese people hanging around everywhere. Stop complaining! There is a great alternative to being bitchy .. ready?? STAY THE HELL OFF THE BOARDS YOU DONT LIKE!

denimtiger said...

You can be against formula without being against other moms or their choices. Many moms would have more success with breastfeeding if formula were not shoved down their throats in the hospital, and waiting on their doorsteps when they arrived home.

If more people knew the truth about formula, then perhaps there would be even MORE options for babies, especially those who have moms with valid medical reasons they cannot breastfeed. Perhaps there would be more milk donors and milk banks, and babies would have access to real milk, instead of processed, canned junk.

Being against formula is NOT the same as being against moms. People are allowed to be against McDonalds without being considered judgemental. People are allowed to be against the beating of baby seals without being considered judgemental. People are allowed to be against the oil industry without being considered judgmental. Why are people all of a sudden judgmental because they're against the formula industry?

Janeen said...

I'm a member of this group. Do you know why it was formed? It was formed because moms in a BREASTFEEDING group, were being told to "butt out" if they said ANYTHING negative about formula, even facts. Post that said ANYTHING bad about formula would be locked or deleted. And moms who said anything bad about formula would be called Breastfeeding Nazis. The title is to differentiate from the mainstream, PC breastfeeding groups that were already on Cafe Mom. Moms who want the REAL truth about formula can get that in this group.

Did you know there is a group for formula feeding moms against formula? I bet you didn't know that. These are moms who for MEDICAL reasons have to feed their kids formula but are AGAINST it because they KNOW the negative facts against formula and they are willing to give that information. Rather than feel guilty and hate all breastfeeding moms, they learn the facts about breast milk and formula in hopes that with the next child, they will be able to breastfeed. And maybe they never will but they still feel strongly against formula.

Formula companies make a TON of money selling a substandard product. It CAN be made better but why? The demand is already there and isn't going to change. The FDA certainly doesn't do anything; formula is NOT regulated by the FDA. Nestle has already said that deaths from formula is a risk that should be EXPECTED. Do parents even know this? Most don't.

I understand totally that breastfeeding has been so lacking in past generations that it will take A LOT to get it back up to where it was before formula was invented, if that ever happens. And I know that moms face a TON of problems and VERY little support when it comes to breastfeeding so I don't judge moms because moms can only do the best they can do with the resources at hand and if those resources support formula and not breastfeeding, it is just not going to happen. It's not going to happen until hospitals get on board and really learn the benefits of breastfeeding and the risk of formula. It's not going to happen until society stops placing such an emphasis on attracting a man and start teaching women the power and wonder if their own bodies and how that body is totally capable of nourishing a baby not only in the womb but outside of it. It's not going to happen until women stop fearing their bodies and instead embrace all their bodies can do.

Anne said...

Thanks for the explanation (most of you:-). It was nice of you to come over.

Sorry to hear that some of you didn't have support. Things must be different in my area. I never got offered formula in the hospital (or sugar water), no one ever questioned why I would breast feed, there were friendly LCs in my ob/gyn office and in the hospital, when The Baby got jaundice really bad (and my milk didn't come in for 5 days) the pediatrician showed me how to tape a feeder to my breast and tube to my nipple so that my kiddo wouldn't get nipple confusion and would get more nourishment until my milk came in, and no one got mad if I supplemented with formula or pumped and bottlefed.